


i think we're alone now

by peachy-ivqn (drqco)



Category: Football RPF, Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 17:37:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18628054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drqco/pseuds/peachy-ivqn
Summary: for the first time ever, luka could not read ivan. he's about 100% sure he's messed up this time.high school au.





	i think we're alone now

**Author's Note:**

> summary is trash lmao 
> 
> the longest one shot i've ever written haha. it took me over a month to write, since i was super busy and just kinda didn't have a lot of motivation to finish it. but i was rereading this in my drafts and i knew i had to finish it. so i wrote like .... the whole ending today. i wanted to finish it earlier in the week, but i had a trip so i just couldn't. also ngl there's been a slight shortage of rakidric lately .... and i just missed these two and wanted to post this. im 100% sure there are grammar and spelling errors, but i'm super tired jskdjsjdk.
> 
> i love the songs mentioned in this fic. most of the time i write fics based around songs, it's just something i really enjoy doing. the songs mentioned are: 
> 
> mr. blue sky by elo  
> i think we're alone now by tiffany  
> come and get your love by redbone
> 
> hope u enjoy and leave a comment or something thanks. :)
> 
> NOW TRANSLATED TO [CHINESE :)](http://iaminsomnia.lofter.com/post/1d57bde5_1c603ec33)

"Sun is shinin' in the sky, there ain't a cloud in sight!" Luka hears his friend Sergio exclaim, as he runs towards the middle of the field. Luka rolls his eyes, Sergio has been singing the same American song over and over again, for the past week. But today, his singing was even louder and more cheerful.

"Mr. Blue Sky again, Sese?" His other teammate, Casemiro asks. He was sprawled on the ground, squirting water all over himself. 

Practice was finally over for the week and even though Luka loved football, he really wanted a break. Even if it was only for two days. "'Course, Case," Sergio responds, sitting down on the grass, leaning back on his elbows. He has this dreamy smile on his face, which practically everyone seemed to notice. "Let me guess, Iker is coming?" Luka asks him, plopping down next to him. 

Sergio grabs him by the shoulders, shaking him a little. There's a huge grin on his face, man, he's never seen someone his age so in love. "Yes! I'm so excited!" Sergio sighs, lying back down on the grass. They all cheer, after all, Iker was their friend and if he made Sergio happy, then they were all happy for him. 

"When?" 

"Tomorrow! I'm picking him up. Plus, he's staying with me for the week." 

"Better keep it PG then, Ramos," Their head coach, Zizou says. It's like he appeared out of nowhere, but he was here. They all thought he left. Next to him was his son, Luca, who bashfully smiles at all of them. He's new, their backup keeper. But all of them loved the kid. He was just really shy, shyer than Luka, which says a lot. "Hey, I'm gonna do nothing," Sergio says, putting his hands up. "Mhmm, if 'nothing' means—" Toni starts, before Isco slaps a hand over his mouth. 

"See you all Monday. You all have rides?" 

"Yeah," They say in unison. Zizou nods, before wrapping an arm around Luca and they both walk back to his car. "Anyway, back to Iker," Sergio says dreamily, like a lovesick child. He was head over heels for him. Their discussion ends up turning to the dance, as they all get ready to leave. Most of them would either drive home, walk home, take their bike, or head off to work. Luka had to go and work. 

"So, Luka, who are you taking to the dance?" Marcelo asks, slapping him on the back. "Marce, you do know that the dance is five months away, right?" 

"Of course, but I'm really excited for this one." 

This was their last school dance together before they graduate, and it was really serious. But he didn't enjoy the dances much anyway. Luka laughs, pushing his hair back. "I don't know. Might not even go," He shrugs, picking up his duffel bag with his football gear. "What?" Sergio and Marcelo say at the same time, a look of disbelief on their faces. Luka rolls his eyes, he was going to have to deal with that on the ride to the cafe. 

The two of them talk quickly to the way to Marcelo's car, saying things like, "No way!" or "You are going to that dance, if it's the last thing we make you do." 

Luka throws his stuff into the car, sitting down on his usual spot, the seat right behind Marcelo. Sergio takes shotgun, and Marcelo takes his spot behind the wheel. "I don't have a girlfriend," Luka tries to tell them, shrugging. 

"And? I can name about five girls who are into you right off the top of my head," Sergio explains, turning to him from the passenger seat. "Yeah, and I can probably find more. Clarice has her sources," Marcelo adds. But how do you tell your best friends that you aren't into just girls? 

The more he thought about it, it wouldn't be hard. Sergio had a boyfriend, and Marcelo was really accepting. Their whole team was, but it's different. "Who do you like, Lukita?" Sergio asks. He rolls down the window, before blasting Mr. Blue Sky on the radio. "Driver picks the music, idiot!" Marcelo complains, slapping Sergio's hand away from the radio. "Why are you so addicted to that song, Sese?" 

"Ah, ah, don't avoid the question Luka. Come on, we won't judge," A few moments of silence pass, before Sergio continues, "do you like a guy?" Sergio says. His voice has changed, it's more sincere and genuine, not like the playful tone he had carried throughout the car ride. Damn it, he thinks. Can't Marcelo drive faster? 

"Hey, Lu, we won't mind, you know. We're your best friends." 

"And I've got a boyfriend myself," Marcelo and Sergio say to him, genuinely sincere. Luka sighs, "I'm bi," he says, trying not to make a big deal of it.

He found out that he was bisexual during his second year of high school. He could've never explored how he felt towards boys in Croatia, not many were accepting there. In Spain, it was better. Not many judged, and it was really relieving. 

It happened during his science class, and there was a boy named Santiago. He had curled black hair that rested on top his head, and a nice smile. Every time Luka would pass him in the hall, 'Santi' he would call him, would flash his big grin and wink. 

After talking to one another and being friends for a while, it was Santi who made the first move. It was in an empty science class, and Santi was the one who pushed him against the wall and kissed him. It happened for only a few seconds, because Santi stopped. Luka realized that he didn't want for him to stop, because he actually liked it. That kissing boys and being with them was just as good as being with a girl. "I'm sorry," Santiago had said, before running out of the class. Luka couldn't move. 

The next month, Luka was announced to be on the football team. By then, Santi was gone. 

"That's okay," Marcelo and Sergio say at the same time. The conversations shifts, and Luka has never been more thankful. 

Thankfully, the cafe Luka works at comes into view, and he prepares to go and start his shift. "Thanks for the ride, Marce. See you guys," He says as he exits the car, walking into the cafe. 

It was odd, usually they were busy on Fridays, but there weren't a lot of people. Luka wasn't complaining. 

As he walks to the back, he slaps hands with Šime, his co-worker. Šime was Croatian too, and he had moved to Spain like Luka. He went to a different school though, but their schools played each other, so they saw each other a lot. And here, at the cafe. "Not too much today, Luka," He says to him. 

Luka drops his things in the back room, clocking in, and grabbing his wait staff apron and wrapping it around his waist. He waves to the people in the kitchen, then returns back to Šime in the front. 

They both do their thing, taking orders, delivering them, sometimes talking to some of the regular customers. Their routine. 

Luka goes back to the counter, yawning to himself as he waits for his shift to be over. He only had an hour left, thankfully. He leans back, and just then, Mr. Blue Sky is blasting in the cafe. He stops and foolishly thinks that Sergio had hijacked their speaker system, but then he turns around, and Šime was hunched over the system. "You like that song too, Šime?" 

"First English song I ever heard. Why? Do you like it?" 

"Sergio does," Luka says through his yawn. He smiles as Šime does a little dance at the bell part, pretending to play the drums. The whole song seems to brighen the mood of all the people in the cafe, even though there were only 12 people here right now. 

Halfway through the song, the bell to their door rings, signaling a new customer. Luka looks up, and—why does he seem familiar?

They guy seemed around his age, with short blonde hair and green eyes. He's hunched, a frown on his face. He looks dressed up, with a black button up shirt and nice jeans. A date, maybe? He seemed really sad, though. 

"Sit where you want," Luka calls out to him. The kid sighs and finds his way to an empty booth, sliding in and putting his head down. Luka walks over to him, concerned. He lays the menu near him, before tapping him. 

"Are you okay?" Luka asks, crouching so he could be level with him. When he looks at him, he seems really familiar. His eyes sparkle with tears. "Yeah, I'm fine," He shrugs, picking up the menu and sniffling. "You seem really familiar," The guy says to him, scratching the back of his neck. "Do you play football? For Los Blancos?" He asks, which causes Luka to nod. The kid's eyes seem to sparkle (not with tears) again, "Oh, I know you. Number 10, right? You're good, by the way," He says to him. 

It all makes sense. He does remember him. He was number four for La Masia, their rival school. "And you're number four," Luka comments, getting up. Number four nods shyly, "Yeah," He runs a hand through his blonde hair, finally, a smile appears on his lips. "I'm Luka. Luka Modrić," He tells him, putting his hand out for number four to shake. He takes his hand and grips it tightly, "Ivan Rakitić." 

They shake hands for a little too long, which causes Luka to cough and pull away. He clears his throat and says, "What would you like? Or do you need more time?" 

"The churros, please. And cafe con leche," Ivan says. Luka nods, before heading back to tell his co-workers. 

"Churros," he shouts back at them. He pauses for a moment, before saying in a quieter voice, "And a dulce de leche milkshake." 

He prepares Ivan's coffee with Šime next to him, playing Mr. Blue Sky again. Luka gives Šime a look, is he really playing it again? "He seems sad," Šime shrugs, nodding his head at Ivan. He was back in his same position, head on the table. Luka frowns, before finishing preparing the coffee. 

He takes the churros, milkshake, and the coffee on a tray, and walks over to Ivan, delivering the churros and coffee. 

It seems to startle Ivan, as when he comes back up, he's wiping at his eyes. Oh, so he'd been crying. 

"Do you like milkshakes?" Luka asks, smiling at him. Ivan laughs through his tears, wiping them away. "Yeah," He says. Luka places the milkshake right in front of Ivan, who gives him a puzzled look. "But I didn't order one," he says. 

"I know. But honestly, I think you need one," Luka responds, crossing his arms. Alright, it didn't come out as nice as Luka had planned. But even so, Ivan smiles and chuckles, "Thank you." 

"I didn't know what flavor you liked. But it's dulce de leche, my favorite, at least." 

"I can tolerate that. But strawberry's my favorite," Ivan says. Luka feels himself blush, before composing himself. "It's on the house," He tells him, a shy smile on his face. 

"Oh, are you sure? I need to give you something, I—" 

"I'm serious. The only thing I want is a smile, okay? Feel better," Luka tells him, before walking back to Šime. Šime seems to blast Mr. Blue Sky louder, and when Luka looks back at Ivan, he's laughing. Smiling and laughing, and honestly, it's something Luka could get used to seeing. 

\--- 

He's in a daze all through practice.

He thinks he's finally crashing, from all the coffee and energy drinks he had before coming to school. (Well, they did work through school.) 

He was up late, he had to work longer and really needed to finish his homework. Plus, his parents were out working, which meant he was responsible for caring for Diora. Jasmina was fine, but Diora was still little, so it was hard to make her fall asleep. 

The only thing he really looked forward today was work, well, not exactly work, but Ivan, who was going today. 

They've been meeting for the past three weeks. He's found out a lot about Ivan, and they quickly became friends, even though they're from rival teams. 

"Luka! Pass!" Zizou shouts at him, as Toni passes him the ball. Luka, who doesn't really know what's happening, panics, and passes to the first person in front of him. It happens to be Case, who was on another team. Case takes the ball and sprints past him, and their defenders can't even stop him, and he scores. 

"Damn it, Luka. Pay attention!" Sergio shouts at him, with his teammates nodding in agreement. Luka nods nervously, before turning to their game. 

Finally, practice ends and Luka is desperate to leave. He's thankful that he got his act together by the end of practice, or else the rest of his teammates would be on his ass by now. He showers quickly, changes, and is almost out the door when Marcelo and Sergio come up next to him, matching his walk out. 

"What's your deal today? Are you alright?" Sergio asks him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm fine, I think it's 'cause I drank too many energy drinks last night," Luka shrugs, trying to walk faster. He knew he wasn't going to escape their questions, as they were his ride. 

"Yeah, that wasn't it." 

"You met someone haven't you?" Marcelo asks and laughs, winking at him. Luka smiles, but he ends up rolling his eyes at them. Finally, the three of them exit the field, the rest of the team in tow. Luka makes a beeline for Marcelo's car, pulling out his phone to see if he could text Ivan. 

Then he sees him. 

He's standing near his car, arms crossed but with a smile on his face. 

And he can't help but stare. 

'Damn,' he thinks. Ivan's hair was tousled, his smile was absolutely radiant, and he's making these absolutely stupid hand signs that make Luka's heart soar. "Luka!" Ivan shouts out to him, motioning him over. "Holy shit," He hears Marcelo and Sergio whisper behind him. He looks back and it looks like the whole team had just seen a shirtless Zizou. 

He's surprised, for sure, he didn't know Ivan was coming by. Before running over to him though, he turns back to Marcelo and Sergio. "I don't need a ride. Thanks. See you guys tomorrow!" He says with a grin on his face, waving to his shell-shocked team. He runs across to Ivan, laughing as he gives him a hug. "You didn't tell me you were coming." 

"Wanted it to be a surprise. I can drive you to the cafe, I'm heading there, remember?" 

"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks," Luka nods, bringing his stuff inside the car. Before getting in himself, he waves at his teammates, hearing them all mumble a soft, "bye, Luka." 

He gets into the car and Ivan starts, and they both make their way to the cafe. 

"They're in shock," Luka tells him, fishing around his bag for something to eat. He could eat at the cafe, but he really was hungry. "I could tell. I don't think they like me," Ivan shrugs, focusing on the road ahead. "It'll just take them a while. They'll understand if you're my friend." 

Ivan nods, before blasting his music. "This is my favorite," Ivan says. It's some American song he's never heard before, well, he doesn't really listen to songs in English. He could understand it, but listening to music in Spanish or Croatian was much easier. "Never heard it before," Luka tells him. He sees Ivan's jaw drop, and he can't help but laugh at the sight. 

"What?" 

"I don't listen to this stuff." 

"Listen," Ivan says, turning it up louder and rolling down the windows. Luka notices he's driving slower than usual too. When he turns to Ivan, he's mouthing the lyrics and humming along. 

"Everybody wants to rule the world!" Ivan sings along, shouting at this point. The driver in the car that pulls up next to him gives them a weird look, but they really could care less. The song ends just as they reach the parking lot of the cafe. "Would you like to rule the world?" Luka asks him, laughing as they stumble out of the car. 

"Maybe. I wanna be a footballer first," Ivan tells him. Luka shoves him playfully as they enter the cafe together. 

That night, Luka lay on his bed in his room. He turned all the lights off, plugged his earplugs in, and loaded his phone. 

He goes on his music app, loading the playlist, "songs for luka!!", made by Ivan. He closes his eyes and listens to the music.

_"Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone is now playing._

\---

"You're in love, man," Isco tells him as they're taking shots. Luka turns back at Isco, giving him a puzzled look. "What?" 

"You have this dreamy look on your face. Like the, "wow-I'm-so-in-love-but-I'll-never-admit-it" type of look. Toni, do you agree?" Isco turns back to ask Toni, who nods in agreement. Luka rolls his eyes, "Toni is only agreeing because he's your best friend." 

"Nope, Luka. Everyone on this team agrees. Even Coach," Isco says. Luka shakes his head, he wasn't in love. He wasn't in love. 

\--- 

He wants practice to just be over already. 

He knows it's too much to ask for, their big game against their rivals was this weekend, and they couldn't afford to slack off. Playing against Ivan would be hard, though. 

But even though he wanted practice to be over, he still paid attention and practiced, he didn't want to flop during the game. He missed Ivan too, they had been talking to each other almost every day, for a month and a half now. Sometimes, Luka would take his mother's car (he still wanted one of his own) to Ivan's town. But mostly, it was Ivan coming here. 

His friends were really accepting of Ivan. When Ivan would come to pick him up, they all joked around that Ivan was a spy. Ivan laughed along, and Ivan's now a friend to them. 

He hadn't seen Ivan for the past week, they were both extremely busy with practice and homework. Ivan didn't even have time to head to the cafe, which bummed Luka out, but it was okay. They still talked all the time though, on the phone. 

As they're getting ready to finish their last drill of the day, he sees Ivan's car pull into the school parking lot. He feels his heart somersault and backflip in his chest. He didn't have a lot of homework, just math, which was something he and Ivan could work on together. Plus, he didn't have work today. He's never wanted practice to just be done more than now. 

His teammates seem to notice Ivan's arrival too, as they give Luka looks and winks. Luka rolls his eyes at them, "I know he's there, guys." 

"My heart, dude. The amount of cheese is immense," Isco whispers behind him. Luka would punch him, but he's busy getting ready for the last drill. 

The next 20 minutes of practice was peaceful, they were just doing rondos and every few minutes, Luka would peek over to Ivan's car, even though he wasn't able to see him. After the laughing of his teammates dies down from talking, they all hear shouts. Screams, really. 

They decide to not check it out, after all, there were only 10 minutes left. Plus, violence wasn't too uncommon in their city, so they heard shouts like that every so often. But then they grow louder, and they all could make out words and phrases. 

"Stupid culé!" They all hear. They know what's happening. 

All of them take a look at Zizou, who seems to understand. He nods towards the front of the school, before running along with them. Luka is full on sprinting now, he panics, what happened to Ivan? He tries not to full cry or scream or shout. 

When they get to the parking lot, they look around, before they see the sight before them. 

Ivan's hurt, alright. Five huge kids surround him, they look familiar. They're from Luka's school. He can't see Ivan, but the familiar color of his shoes on the ground. Luka runs over, his team following. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees most of them tackle the attackers, leaving him to care for Ivan. 

"No, no, no, no," He mumbles to himself. He kneels down on the ground, grabbing for Ivan and pulling him closer. His head was bleeding, there was a pool of blood that cradled Ivan's head. It was on his shirt too. His left leg was twisted in a way that shouldn't be. Luka gently tries to wake him up, his blood getting all over his hands. He could care less. 

"He's a stupid culé from La Masia, why's he on our turf!" 

"Get away from him, Modrić!" 

He sees Sergio land a punch on one of them, before Karim pulls him away. 

"Ivan, wake up, come on," He tells Ivan, holding the sides of his face. His eyes and lips were swollen, and blood was everywhere. Everywhere. 

Ivan doesn't wake. 

Luka tries to find a pulse, and thankfully, there was one. It was faint, though. When he turns to Zizou, he's leaning over Ivan next to him, phone to his ear. Luka hears something about getting an ambulance, but he could only focus on Ivan. 

Luka's hands start to shake as he tries to wake him up. "Wake up, please," He pleads. He needs to. 

The next minutes are a blur. 

He hears the faint sounds of an ambulance and the paramedics take Ivan away from him. He hears one of them say something about San Rafael, the hospital they were taking Ivan to. They're in a hurry, Luka could tell. Before long, the ambulance is off, sirens blaring loudly into his ear. Luka can still feel the blood dripping down his arms and hands. The police come too, but Luka could care less. He just wants to go and make sure Ivan is okay. He needs to be. 

He crouches down to the floor and picks up the things Ivan had left, his keys and his phone. He pockets the keys, picks up Ivan's phone, unlocks it, and calls Ivan's mother. 

\--- 

He's aware that he looks like a murderer. 

He doesn't feel like himself either. 

He's alone in the waiting room, except for the receptionist at the front, who was desperately trying to not make eye contact with him. His hands were splattered with blood, same thing with his practice shirt. He still had his cleats on too, and every time he moved, they made the "clop, clop" sound fill up the whole room. 

Though the receptionist seems to try and ignore him, she doesn't whisk him away. The emergency responders must've told her about him. 

Marcelo had to drive him here, but decided to go back to collect Luka's things and bring him a change of clothes. He felt so numb, on the way here. 

Ivan's parents had come, saying hi to Luka, but not really knowing who he was. They were sitting across from him, but just went inside. He wished he could go in too. 

In the next moments, the door to the waiting room slides open, revealing a kid about his height. He seems concerned, looking around, before heading to the receptionist. 

"I'm here for Ivan Rakitić. Is he okay?" The kid slurs out quickly. Luka can't catch what the receptionist says, but he only sees her wave him over to the seats. When he turns around, he seems familiar. Oh yeah, he was number 10 on La Masia. He was really good, even though Luka never talked to him a lot. Number 10 seems to recognize him as well, as he walks over to him and sits down across from him. His eyes are drawn to Luka's blood stained hands. 

"I didn't do it," Luka says, pulling his arms closer to his body. He should go wash the blood off. "No, it's just," He starts, before breathing in. "You've got to be Luka, right?" Number 10 asks, looking him over. Luka nods, "Yeah. Ivan's friend." 

"And on Los Blancos," he says. "He talks about you a lot." 

"Good stuff hopefully?" 

"Yeah. Really good. Man, Ivan's in love." Number 10 says. Luka perks up, listening more intently. "What'd you mean?" 

"What do you mean, "what'd you mean?"? Have you noticed? Everytime he talks about you, his eyes light up. He has this dreamy look on his face. Why else would he pick you up from practice or drive all the way across the city to see you? From what I hear, you guys talk until late at night, over the phone. And Ivan never lies. I know that's stuff that friends could do, but it's just, the way he talks about you. Friends, they don't talk like that." 

He was an idiot. A complete idiot. He stares at Number 10, tears threatening to spill. And then, he starts crying for the first time since earlier. He can't wipe his face, so he just lets the tears go down, not caring if Number 10 was watching or not. "Hey, man," Number 10 tells him, sitting down next to him and rubbing his back. He can't stop crying. Because maybe, just maybe, he missed his chance. 

\---

Ivan's parents didn't let him in. 

Apparently, Ivan never told them about him. Which was fine, Luka understood. But, it was like his mother hated him. Which he didn't understand, since she did say hi to him earlier. 

The doctor was able to let Luka and Leo in, but once Ivan's parents took sight of him, they didn't want him there. He just handed her Ivan's keys and phone, to which she responded with, "did you steal these?" 

Leo had to defend him. 

So now he was here, outside of the hospital, wondering if he'd ever be able to see Ivan again. During games, probably. But other than that? Maybe not. It was too good to be true anyway, these past months. He just really hoped Ivan was alright. 

Marcelo pulls up, a soft look on his face. "Luka," He says when he catches sight of him. Marcelo leaves his car parked near the curb, runs out, and embraces him in a tight embrace. And then, he cries. 

\--- 

All Luka got the next week was complete silence. 

Until today. 

He knew it was only a week, but it still hurt. Life before Ivan was dull, even though his friends and football and his family were there, it was different. Ivan made him much happier. Much, much, happier. 

That week, he didn't know whether Ivan was alright or not. Maybe he was sleeping, maybe his brain was messed up, maybe he was dead. Maybe he was fine. 

The school was a mess after the students attacked Ivan. Luka tried to tune it out, instead focusing on his business and always wondering about Ivan. 

Sergio had told Zizou about the whole situation too. Luka was so thankful Zizou understood. He couldn't focus on football too well, bad thoughts were running through his head and he really didn't want to do anything. Zizou had decided to give him a break for this weekend's game. 

He wasn't able to get a break from work, so he still worked normally. It's sad, almost every move he makes reminds him of Ivan. Someone had asked him for a strawberry milkshake the other day, and he almost broke down right there. 

He leans back against the counter, arms crossed and eyes closed. He hears Šime shuffle next to him, pouring some coffee into some mugs and walking away from him. Just then, he hears the familiar sound of the bell ringing, so he turns around to face the next customer. "Sit anywhere you want," Luka says, getting a menu ready. He looks up at the customer, he looks familiar. And oddly like Ivan. 

Luka shakes his head, he probably was seeing things. "Actually, I wanted some food for to-go," He says, walking up to the counter instead. Luka nods, "Okay. Do you need more time to look at the menu or—" 

"May I get a strawberry milkshake and some churros, please?" He says, a smile on his face. Luka pauses, remembering Ivan. His exact order, and he struggles to not cry. He sees Šime give him a nod, understanding what was going on. "Yeah, of course, that'll be—" The man just gives him the exact amount of money, before dropping 10 kunas into the tip jar. The exact amount Ivan would give him every time he went here. Luka graciously accepts the money, before wiping away some tears from his eyes. He needed to keep it together. "Sorry," He whispers to him. "Your name?" 

"Dejan," The man starts. Luka quickly types in the name on the software, but then, the next word he hears grabs his attention. "Rakitić." 

Luka looks up at Dejan, maybe he was Ivan's brother. Was he here for him? 

"You're Luka, right?" Dejan asks, pointing to the nametag on Luka's chest. Luka nods, stopping his typing. He has so many questions to ask. "He misses you. I'm sorry about our parents, I heard they didn't want you to see him. But from what Ivan has told me, he really liked you. My parents are gone today, so maybe you'd like to see him? He doesn't know about this, so it would be a surprise. He's just been really sad, you know? He could answer all your questions." 

"How is he?" 

"He's doing fine. His head wasn't messed up badly, thankfully. They broke his leg, so he's out for the rest of the season. Plus, he had surgery. Another thing he's sad about," Dejan continues, tilting his head to the side. "Would you like to see him?" Dejan asks again, leaning over the counter. Luka bites his lip, "would he like to see me?" He knows the answer already, but he wanted to be sure. Because really, it was his fault Ivan was in this mess. Ivan came to his school, and got beat up by his school's kids. If Luka never talked to Ivan, then he wouldn't be in this situation. 

"What're you talking about? Of course he would. He likes you a lot," Dejan smiles at him. "I probably would even say love." 

That's what pushes him to go see Ivan. 

He gets the order out quickly, and turns to Šime, who already beats him to his idea. "I'll cover for you. Be careful." 

Luka embraces Šime tightly, muttering thank you over and over again. Dejan had offered him a ride, so he takes the food and changes out from his uniform into normal clothes, before hopping in the passenger seat of Dejan's car. Dejan blasts his music, he and Ivan had the same taste. It gives him a sense of familiarity. 

Before long, they reach the hospital. They go to level six, turn left two times, before they reach room 236, Ivan's room. Luka holds the milkshake and churros, breathing heavily. The nerves were starting to kick in. 

Dejan goes in first, motioning for Luka to stay outside for a second. "I have a surprise, Ivan." 

"Was Luka working there today? I know he doesn't normally work at this time. Hey, where's my milkshake?" He hears Ivan ask, hearing the sound of the bed creaking. "Even better," Dejan says, subtlely motioning for Luka to come in. He steps into Ivan's view, taking a good look at him. 

His head was wrapped in white bandages, his face was kind of messed up, and his leg was in a cast. But he was speaking normally and moving around normally, thankfully nothing happened to his brain. 

There's a look of shock and surprise on Ivan's face, before he says, "Luka?" 

Luka laughs a little, feeling the tears start to reappear again, "Yeah, that's me. I've got your milkshake and churros, too," Luka says, holding up the food. Ivan motions for him to come, and Luka does. He leaves the food on the table and runs over to Ivan to embrace him. Ivan cries into his shoulder, and it takes all of Luka's power to not sob back. Through the crying, he hears the door shut quietly behind him, signaling Dejan's leave. 

"I missed you," Ivan mumbles into Luka's shoulder. Luka hugs him even tighter, rubbing his back and inching impossibly closer. Then he remembers, they were friends, right? So he lets go, leaning back against the chair but staring intensely at him. Ivan gives him a puzzled look, before flopping back against the bed, rubbing his face with his hands. 

"How are you?" Luka asks, clearing his throat. But Ivan smiles at him again and talks as if they hadn't just had a moment between them. 

"Sorry I haven't been texting. My mama, she saw our conversations. Deleted them, didn't want me to text or call you. I'm sorry. She'll come around, I promise." 

Time passes, and before long, it's like before the accident. It's just the two of them, laughing and joking around while eating now kind-of-stale churros. "Wait, Ivan," Luka chokes out, while swallowing some stale churro. 

"I found a song I think you'd like." 

"Really? Luka Modrić recommending music? Man, they must of messed up my head real bad if I'm hearing this." 

"Hey! I'm serious," Luka softly punches him in the shoulder. He fishes for his phone in his back pocket, opens his music app and scrolls until he finds the song. "What's it called?" Ivan asks, trying to lean over and see, Luka takes the phone away, instead playing it. "Just listen, Ive." And Ivan does. 

"Children, behave!  
That's what they say when we're together.  
And watch how you play, they don't understand  
and so we're 

Running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another hands  
Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me  
And we tumble to the ground and then you say," 

Luka looks up at Ivan, who has his head laid back and his eyes closed, looking deeply intrigued into the song. Next thing Luka knows, he's grabbing for Ivan's hand, holding it tightly in his own. Ivan's eyes shoot open and they're staring at each other, although, it's not awkward. It was comforting, even the goofy song was saying otherwise. 

"I think we're alone now,  
There doesn't seem to be anyone around  
I think we're alone now,  
The beating of our hearts is the only sound." 

And then Ivan just tugs him closer and suddenly he's there, lying next to Ivan on the small, narrow bed that's definitely not supposed to hold two people. They lay shoulder to shoulder, hand holding the other and they stare at the white ceiling, just listening. He doesn't know if Ivan was alright with it, but then he just squeezes his hand. It answers his question. 

Far too soon, the song ends, leaving silence between the two of them. "I really like it," Ivan whispers. But what do they do now? 

Luka is thinking of leaving. Maybe it's for the best. He didn't want to do anything stupid. He's about to say something when Dejan knocks, before entering. He relases Ivan's hand at lightning speed, jumping out of the bed and back into the chair. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Ivan frown at him. 

"Sorry to interrupt, but mama and tata are coming. All three of us are gonna be in deep shit if they see you here. Like, I'm guessing around five minutes left. Sorry, Luka, I'll make sure they'll come around. I'll wait outside," Dejan tells them, before shutting the door again. 

Luka clears his throat again, snatching his phone back and slipping it into his pocket. He stands up and watches as Ivan tracks his every move. He grabs Ivan's hand again and squeezes it, before letting go and heading towards the door. 

But he knows he can't leave like that. 

Just as he's about to exit, he turns back, quickly makes his way to Ivan and kisses him. A proper one, which Ivan returns wholeheartedly. Ivan's hands find their way to Luka's hair, tugging him closer. And then, he pulls away, looking at Ivan. Has he made the right decision? 

He can't read Ivan's eyes. For the first time ever, he can't read Ivan. Maybe Ivan didn't like him after all. "I'm sorry," Luka tells him, before leaving quickly and quietly shutting the door before Ivan could let out another word. Was this what Santiago felt? 

"Thanks for letting me see him," Luka mutters. Dejan pats him on the back, "Of course. My ma will come around, don't worry. Let's get you home." 

But in that small hospital room, laying on that tiny hospital bed with Ivan next to him and their hands intertwined, he felt like he was at home already. 

\--- 

"Wait, wait—Luka, you said 'sorry' after you kissed him? After he reciprocated said kiss? Oh man, you're such an idiot." 

"I, just—I looked at him and I just thought that maybe he didn't like me. And now I have probably ruined our friendship. I truly am an idiot," Luka groans, lying back against Sergio's soft bed sheets. "Hey, come on, Lukita. You know I was joking," Sergio says, tipping his head to look at Luka. He was sitting on his bed, laptop in his lap, finishing his essay. Luka was lying back on the bed, re-thinking practically every decision he's made regarding Ivan. 

"But seriously, man. If he kissed back, that means he likes you." 

"Maybe he just wasn't thinking straight," Luka tells Sergio, crossing his arms. Sergio chuckles a little at the stupid pun Luka hadn't intended on making. "I'm serious, Sese." 

"Luka, I'm pretty sure Ivan likes you like that. Why can't you believe us?" 

"It's just hard to believe that Ivan likes me, okay?" Luka shouts, sitting up and gripping the sheets. Sergio snaps his head away from the computer, eyebrows furrowing together. "Ivan, he's just, so kind and funny and he always knows what to say and he's witty and good looking and he could have anyone he wants, but he wants me. And then when you look at me, I'm just, nothing, really," Luka shrugs. It was the truth, anyway. Luka wipes his eyes, as he feels tears start to appear. He picks up his pencil and grabs his notebook, angrily scribbling down words that really don't make sense. 

"Luka," Sergio stops him by putting a hand on his shoulder, before engulfing him in a tight hug. Luka can't help but hug him and vent out everything that has happened. 

After his crying, Luka lies down on the floor, staring up at the white ceiling. Sergio laughs and crouches down next to him. "I have ice cream. And we still need to finish The Office right?" Sergio offers his hand out to him. Luka smiles at him and takes it, getting up with him. "Everything will solve itself in the end, Lu," Sergio comments as they leave the room together. Maybe he's right. 

\--- 

He lies alone in his bedroom, with the same playlist playing over and over again. He realized that he almost missed his chance. So he texts Ivan. 

[to ivan: hey are you free tomorrow? dejan told me that you're home now. do you wanna come by the cafe? i wanna take u somewhere.] 

Maybe it's a sign that Ivan's reply of 'yes' comes just a minute  
later. (Even if it was three am.) 

\---

Ivan comes by at the end of his shift. 

Luka watches as he slowly hops out of Dejan's car, manuvering himself into the cafe even with his crutches. His head is still bandaged and his leg was still in a cast. But he still had the same smile, even though his face had scars. 

He hasn't seen Ivan nor talked to him since "that" day. He didn't have the courage to, until now. He's surprised Ivan even responded to him last night, let alone actually come. But maybe, for once, Ivan actually liked him. 

He knew he was self-sabotaging, something good could appear for him and he'd always find a way to mess it up for himself. He didn't want to do that to Ivan. 

He clocks out quickly, gathering his things and walking over to Ivan, who was sitting in the booth. "Want anything before we go?" He asks, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Ivan shakes his head, "Let's just go." 

Wordlessly, he helps Ivan get into his car ending up just taking the crutches and gently putting them on the back seats. He gets into his car, starting the engine, and hooking up his phone to the radio. He plays his playlist. He swears he saw Ivan smile at him. 

The ride to their destination was quiet between them. The music just filled the space between them two. Luka navigates them out of the city and into the country, where you could drive up the mountains and get a good look of the city. 

Ivan rolls down the window and sticks his head out, the wind tousling Ivan's hair. He hears Ivan shout something as they make their way to the top, and suddenly, they're both laughing so hard that Luka can barely pay attention to the road. 

But they safely make it to the top, sitting back against their seats, looking out towards the city. "Want to sit on the hood?" Luka asks Ivan, before Ivan nods, not making eye contact. 

Luka helps him get and sit on the hood, leaving the crutches back in the car. Ivan outstretches his injured leg, breathing quietly and lying back to look at the pink sky. Luka sits right next to him, glancing at the tired Ivan. It was weird, every time Luka would look at him, it was like he could forget everything. His homework, football, his problems, everything would go away and the world would just feel like him and Ivan. 

So the two of them lay there, on the hood of Luka's car and under the beautiful pink sky. They're barely touching, with only a few centimeters of space between them. "I don't think I told you," Ivan says suddenly, his voice filling the silence. "What?"

"Remember when we first met? And I was crying and you gave me a milkshake?" Ivan says, laughing a little bit. Luka nods, turning his head to face Ivan, who was still staring up at the sky. "My boyfriend dumped me. Well—ex, now," Ivan shrugs. Oh, so that was why. 

"But everything was still shitty, you know. It was weird. Like everything was dulled and muted, even people's voices sounded like they were underwater half the time. And sometimes I'd just lie in my room and just never want to leave. Honestly, I don't know why him breaking up with me made me feel shittier, he never treated me well anyway," He whispers. Ivan closes his eyes and rubs his face, and for a second, Luka thinks he was going to cry. 

"I really didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to run away or something dumb like that, or I just would've ended it," Ivan tells him. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Luka sits up and grasps Ivan's hands and pulls them away from his face. His eyes are an angry red and he sniffles. 

"I was scared you were going to leave, because usually, people do. You make me so happy and everything seems amazing when I'm with you and you treat me like I mean something and I really like you. I want to be with you. And maybe I'm selfish for this," He rambles on and on. Luka mumbles something akin to his name and leans over to embrace him. He holds him tightly, intent on not letting go this time. He's never seen Ivan this vunerable, even during his injury. "You're not selfish, not ever," Luka chants into his ear, comfortingly running his hands through Ivan's freshly cropped hair. He's thankful that the bandages were gone. 

"Ivan," Luka mumbles as he strokes his hair. "I know, I'm sorry," Ivan cries, shaking in Luka's embrace. The two of them stay like that for a while, until Ivan's crying stops. When they both pull back, Luka just leans right back in, this time, kissing him. He pours his whole heart in it and doesn't run away like last time. Ivan's hands end up around his neck, and Luka figures that this was the best feeling in the world. 

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Luka whispers against Ivan's soft lips. He also figures out that Ivan tastes of strawberries and honey, which comforts him. 

Finally they both pull away, laughing quietly to themselves. Luka smiles at him lovingly and grasps both of Ivan's warm hands. "Promise that you'll tell me if you ever feel like that again, okay?" He says, gently grabbing Ivan's pinky and interlocking it with his. Ivan doesn't respond. "Please?" Luka asks of him, tightening his pinky around Ivan's. Ivan nods, "Yeah," is all he says. It's enough for Luka. He can't help but kiss him another time. 

\---

The ride back home was much better than the ride to the mountains. 

The two of them shout along to Ivan's playlist, Luka finally knowing the words to Ivan's favorites. He and Ivan hold hands the whole time (and Luka masters one-handed driving) and kiss at every red light. They were really a cliché (but Luka could care less). 

They pull up at Ivan's house later in the night, when it was already dark and they're both pretty sure they'd be crucified by both of their parents. Luka helps Ivan to his door, opening the car door for him and unlocking the front door to Ivan's house for him too. In some ways, things don't feel different. He justs feels even closer to Ivan. 

Before Ivan shuts the door, Luka can't help but ask a question. 

"How do you feel about dances?" Luka asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "It depends on whom I'm with," Ivan replies easily with a smirk, brushing some hair away from Luka's face. "Hmm, how do you feel about going to a dance with me?" 

"When?" 

"End of this month. The thirty-first. So?" 

"On one condition." 

"And what is that?" 

"You have to come to mine, too," Ivan smirks again, putting his crutches to the side just to cross his arms. "Fine," Luka says, faking exasperation and rolling his eyes. Ivan laughs at him, albeit quietly, since his parents were awake. "'Course I'll go," Ivan smiles, leaning down for another kiss. 

"See you, Lukita. Thank you for today. Thank you for everything, really."

"Night, Ivan. I'll call tomorrow," Luka tells him before Ivan shuts the door gently. Luka ends up giggling to himself as he walks back towards the car. 

He climbs into his car, quietly shuts the car door, and breathes out. He's done it. He's had probably the best four months of his life with Ivan to ask him out for a dance (well, everything fell into place eventually). 

He's pretty sure it was worth it.


End file.
